I still have a sweeping sense of sadness that floods over me at any given moment. It's hard when you are happy one second and then staring off into space the next. This relationship is really going to end, but I doubt it won't sink in until I wake up in an empty house. I will miss being around my wife's sweet spirit and warmth to keep me company at night. If anything, we feel comfortable with each others presence and I believe we still are even now. There's nothing wrong with sharing a life with your best friend. It's the addiction to the daily routine that we'll have to get over.
I was thinking of infusing a little more of my identity with the blog now that it's probably a little safer but I am concerned that people will read only hoping that it will eventually take a turn for...the sexual. If you are looking to satisfy your voyeuristic urges by mapping out every event my private parts partake of, then I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place. Out of respect to my wife, I will not broadcast my past, present or future sexual encounters here. I expect to have the occasional crush now and then, but doing the deed is entirely different. I don't believe I've been extremely explicit and I don't intend to start now. There you have it. The rule as of now. So don't ask. You're reading this on the internet for god's sake, so go find some porn.
If you must know, I'll be surprised if I am intimate again with anyone until the far future. I have enough to contend with before I can even think about going that route. I've dated a total of two people in my lifetime and it took me months to even get the point of feeling like a "boyfriend". Yeah, so they were with girls and we all know the explanation for why those didn't work out. It's quite simple. Being out (of the closet and from commitment) now does not entitle me the right to run around with my fly open. That's just stupid. I am a father and a friend first. I still need to provide for my family even though we won't be under the same roof. This has never changed.