Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Blink

Wow. One thing I never expected was to be accused of being a fiction writer. I suppose without actually being here to see the real interactions, there isn't much to be done about that. It's a little irritating since I am trying to get out of the quagmire of being deceptive. Management requests that all questions be held for the end of the tour.

Sorry to disappoint all you blog junkies (of which I now know there are A LOT) but I don't have anything all that sensationalist to report. Yesterday was quite rough but we're doin' OK. And it is MY blog after all. It's my human flaw. Otherwise what's the point in writing it down. Deal.

We will be separating. No two ways around it. Reality has set in. Her two conflicting minds have started to reconcile. This was the reaction I was bracing for in my initial confrontation. The flash of shock has worn off and logic has started it's course. She told me she felt like Dorothy and the Wicked Witch in the same body. One side wants to just go home and have us all live happily ever after and the other wants to hate me for what I've done. I had to take off work yesterday to settle things down. She talked to her parents in the evening. On her way to talk to them, I could tell by her goodbye that a resolution was drawing near but wasn't sure exactly to what degree. After a lingering hour of paralysis later, she came home. And to her senses as well. While I can't agree with the fundamental belief she was raised with, the one that nailed down the lid for so long on my identity, I am glad that she has something to stand by. Now that the curtains have been drawn, guess that makes me the Wizard.

Sorry if I make anyone nauseous but those "Movie of the Week" moments have to come from somewhere.

We do make good monkeys. They bounce well. I can't tell if they know something is up or not. The shift is now to make sure they are well taken care of. I'm going to be giving so many wedgies and upside down backflips I hope they'll be sick of me too. :)

Peace,
Simon

9 comments:

Brian said...

Oh dear, it sounds like the bitchy queens are attacking you already! Out of the closet two days and you're already solidly in the gay community.

Anonymous said...

I just recently found your blog, so I only caught with your recent posts now.

Anyway, good luck on your journey...because this may be the end of your straight life as you know it. Hopefully all the deceit will end right now. But for whatever it's worth, I'm glad that you found the courage to be hinest to yourself and to everyone else in your life.

Welcome to the wonderful yet neuroses-inducing world of gaydom. It has its ups and down, but in my experience, it's a wonderful place to be.

- Glenn
www.livejournal.com/users/hypertwink/

Anonymous said...

Hey Simon.
I wish you all the best.
BIG hugs.

rich said...

that is tough... but still inspiring. maybe one day soon i'll tell my parents.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on coming out. I wish you all the best. IF you ever need to chat, let me know.

--
David
http://www.davidslife.typepad.com

Alan said...

Well, regarding people thinking you're a fiction writer...there's nothing you can do about that.

Just so you know, several of us have been burned by a guy writing a fictional blog in which he was supposedly gay bashed. Turns out it was all a lie. (and I think his screen name was Simon too) Thus people are a little gun shy.

Anyway...hope things are going well.

sis. said...

so..my comment actually is for everyone who's been writing comments... i just wanted to say i'm grateful to everyone who has written and shared their support/criticisms/stories here.. as far as i am away in physical location from my brother, i don't think i could be of much help even if i was there right now, and i still wouldn't know what to say about any of this. myself being rather unprepared for it, i appreciate the insight of those who have been through similar situations and are willing to be guides for those of us who are uninitiated. so thanks.

i miss all you crazy monkeys, bro. hugs from me all around.

as is my new favorite line to quote in closing, "be well, do good work and keep in touch."

Brandon said...

I have been reading your entries for a while now. What an incredibly hard choice you have made - I applaud you. BV

Mike said...

Most folks have no imagination. As you've pointed out in other entries, this is your personal truth. Whether it's a complete "fairy" tale or an intimate portrait of your journey out from the closet, the story is within you and anyone worrying about it's veracity doesn't really get the point.

For what it's worth, I'm reading it as autobiograhpy and sending earthy crunchy rays of light your way from San Francisco whenever I check in.