Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Leveling the Field

The situation hasn't changed all that much. It's been rough. At times I feel like I have a chord tied to my ankles and I'm being flung up and down without any control as to where I'll land. The only thing keeping me from rocketing off into the atmosphere is my wife. She's a trooper. To the chagrin of both of us, it seems as though some people around us want to move things along at warp speed, as if it's a life and death matter to "rescue" my wife from the clutches of my influence. I'm probably just too close to what's going on but I can't help feel that's been the major point of contention. There are now also some crazy notions flying around. If anyone can direct me to the "secret savings account" that apparently I've got stashed away (because you know it only makes sense that I plan on being a major ASS about this) please let me know. I could use the funds about now. How do I convince you that I'm still the same nervous, slightly perfectionist, workaholic with empty pockets and aching heart that you knew before! Just with an update to the flawed operating system.


In the meantime, I'm doing the best I can in the rest of my life. My monkeys are keeping my spirits up, although Monkey No. 1 has been having some major rebellious streaks. Of course, I can't help but think events must be affecting him but I'm hoping it's just the normal suck factor of having to go to bed instead of getting to play video games and watch movies until his brain oozes out his retinas. I'm such an ogre that way. Monkey No. 2 just wants to be standing on his head. All the time. At least someone has their priorities straight.

I do have a renewed concentration on my tasks at work. Which is a good thing as we are about to enter into a major project that will likely take the next two years or so to see through to completion. My place of employment is really a family away from home. I've been there six+ years, my bosses are great and I couldn't ask for a more enjoyable set of people to work with. I do have a lot of freedom there per say and I'm well aware that there are some out there that would tell me to snap out of my funk simply because of what I do for a living. However, as with the rest of my scattered psyche, I see myself moving on eventually. One of the guys is leaving us in about a week, so I decided to make lunch for the company as a a parting gift. Thank goodness for tasty diversions.