While I had one of the seemingly best days of my life, my wife consequently had one of the worst. I don't want to give the impression that it was all a bowl of cherries. I checked on her throughout the day to to see how she was. She was good this morning. Then she asked to read this blog. And then it got worse. All of her conflicting emotions came tumbling out. So currently we are in more of a holding pattern. She's really confused. Rightly so. I can't blame her. I wish there was something more I could do for her right now besides almost making her hurl her lunch, but I'm trying to figure out what the next step should be myself.
She has her doubts about how it's going to work, since she's never heard any success stories of situations such as this working out for the long haul. I guess I haven't either for that matter. Neither of us wants to be the selfish one and we both still respect each other so there is an unintentional and emotional tug-of-war going on. She wants to be around me, but doesn't at the some time. She will probably need to see someone outside of this whole situation to talk about it all. You may now address all rotten vegetables and biological weapons to my attention.
Still, she's relieved that I don't have a lover and didn't decide to reveal this on the Jerry Springer Show. Talk about a nightmare.
I've had a few comments about why I chose to do this on Valentine's Day. I probably ticked off quite a few people because of it. The short answer: If not now, then when? Ten years from now when it'll just be that much worse? This day is still just another global rotation, like any other day. I should think, it would be a time for realizations and reflections about love more than simply saturating your sweetie with sugar coated condolences. I'd rather devote my time to something like this instead.
On a happier note, the monkeys are at large. Monkey No. 1 had a valentines exchange at school today. While I'm not keen on the amount of sugar that will be bandied about, there is something nostalgic in the tactile sensation of opening envelopes and colorful paper and your name in scrawled ink that can make you feel, well, downright special. My mom-in-law works at an elementary school and taught first grade for a while. She brought up the observation that obviously while there is candy, her classes really loved the idea of exchanging cards the most. How many times does a 6 year old get 20+ pieces of mail at one time. It's a virtual jackpot! So in this respect, I'm happy to let him enjoy it if only to stretch some creative muscles and appreciate the value of writing physical letters.