Monday, April 11, 2005

Nothing That Monkey Emissions Won't Cure

The Time: Dinner.
The Place: At the table.
The Mood: Sick, Tired and Agitated.
The Players: Monkey No. 1 (J-Dawg), Monkey No. 2 (GB), Mom & Dad-In-Law, My Mom, Wife & Me

Monkey No. 1: I want corn.
Me: Ok here you go...
Monkey No. 1: No wait! Not corn. I want the cranberry.
Me: Alright...
Monkey No. 1: Oh no, no! Not cranberry. I need the big hot dog.
Me: You've got a corn dog on your plate already.
Monkey No. 1: But I want the big one there.
Me: Just eat what's on your plate first buddy and if you're still hungry...
Monkey No. 1 (whine): Noooo, I need the THAT hot dog.
Me: J-dawg, please eat what's on your plate first before you go for more.
Monkey No. 2: ~~Munch, munch, snarf~~
Monkey No. 1: No. I want THAT one.
Me: Just eat J-dawg.

Dad-inLaw: Hey you know we've got ice cream for dessert.
Mom-in-Law: Grandpa, shhhh.
Monkey No. 1: Can I have dessert now? I want dessert now. It's time for dessert. I'll just go get it.
Wife: No, J-dawg, we have to wait til everyone is done eating.
Me: J-dawg, get back in your chair.
Monkey No. 1: I'm just gonna go get dessert.
Me: J-dawg, get back in your chair, now please.
Wife (exhausted) : Please listen, J-dawg.
Monkey No. 2 (singing): Once upon a time a donkey and a wee little man was he... OK Bob.

Monkey No. 1: Can we have dessert now?
Monkey No. 1 (in his best coy voice): Oooooh, just gimme a chance.
Dad-in-Law (with a cold): You need to listen, buddy. Let's learn some patience.
Monkey No. 1: I'm just gonna go get it.
Monkey No. 2 (Lies down on his chair.): Nigh-night. Sweep tight.
Me: GB sit up please. J-dawg, sit and wait otherwise, you won't get any, understand?
Monkey No. 1: No! I don't wanna!
Mom-in-Law: OK. How about this, if you can not say anything for a few minutes. Then we can have dessert.
Monkey No. 1 (increase in pitch): Whhaaaaat?
Mom-in-Law: Ready, go!

Everyone sits in silence. Monkey No. 1 looks around deviously. Mutual giggles are stifled.

Monkey No. 2 (still lying down): ~~loud stinky fart~~

Laughter erupts from all.

Monkey No. 1: I'll get the dessert!

Evening saved. :)



Steve said...

Cute, and classic. :) A story that will survive the ages.

I've had fun reading through your entries. You and I have some similarities, although I'm not married.

Soon, I'll have my weblog ready for visits. Until then, ta.

David said...

That is a very cute little story. Gave me a chuckle on a rainy damp Monday.

(lia) said...

AH! Such an adorable post! Thanks for the smile.

Chef Dean said...

Appears to me you've got dreadfully normal kids. ;-)