Thursday, May 26, 2005

Sweet and Spicy

Tonight there was salsa. The dancing kind, not the kind with habaneros. I mean I suppose some people might think you were dancing if you stuck habaneros up your eyes or something. But don't do that. Cause it hurts a lot.

Unrelated story: One time, at Pizza Hut, the pastor's son got one of those red pepper packets in his eye and he spent the night in the bathroom. Later it looked like he'd had his eyeball sucked from it's socket. Cause it hurt a lot.

It started in the car. We were all driving home together flipping through stations when along comes that really annoying "Tell me baby gurl cause I need to know song" by Marky Antonio Iglesias. Or whichever one he is, I always get them mixed up. We dwelled on it only for a moment and Monkey No. 1 says "Hey! I like that song!" Yesh, of course you do. So we put it back for him, but needless to say we showed him how much more fun it is to sing along with it like an opera singer would. I think we were a bit too loud as the people driving next to us thought we were dying and may have almost caused an accident...

A few years ago, my wife took a latin dancing class at the gym. It surprised the heck outta me how fast she got it down and how much she enjoyed it. But, I'm not sure how to say it so that I don't sound like a jerk. She's got back. Booty. There's really no other other word for it. But it's not unpleasant, disproportionate booty. On a side note, the local straight black male population seems to be attracted to the booty like flies to honey. True, it happened more when we were working at the Scamalot music store together so perhaps there was some trend among the MTV hip hop crown that dug it at that time. Maybe, voluptuous? Rubenesque? Those are good things. Really. As in, "You're not chunky your just like timeless art!" I am going down in flames in this paragraph so I'll stop now...

Where was I? Anyway, I was trying to say she's got the knack for latin dancing and a beautiful set of curves to go with it.

Along with some salsa, there was mambo, there was merengue, there was there was something she was yelling that sounded like "frittata" but I know that can't be it. The merengue was invented by a midget king with one leg that was too short, or so I'm told, and thus you end up looking like Quasimodo learning to jig like a baby duck. (I kinda like that story and I'm not going to bother looking it up to see if it's true.) At least that's the way I look when I do it. Of my few talents, telling my joints how to move my body is definitely not in the arsenal.

This is only one of the many obvious reasons why the monkeys and I love mommy. She's got what we call the "hips of doom". J-Lo doesn't have a thing on those curves and how to use 'em. I also got her a free belly dancing workout video one time (with twin instructors Vena and Nena!) and she picked it up and had her way with it. Don't get in her way or she'll make you do it too. :P

Since it was also bath time, there was wild monkey naked dancing for a bit and flinging pajamas. I discovered that Monkey No. 1 has no sense of how to properly flail about to this kind of beat. But somehow he picked right up on doing some robot arms to the 80's dance music. Monkey No. 2 is out right insane but amazingly has much more coordination and actually followed the general direction of steps mommy was so deftly demonstrating for us.

As for me, I had a brush with the ceiling fan as all I can really do well is hop up and down and kick one leg at a time.


PS. If she ever reads this I'm as good as toast. Eck, what am I going to call her when we finally AREN'T married. I could refer to her as "the Ex" but thats always sounded like sharp objects are involved.

PPS. Just read the comments on yesterdays post. Note to self: When yur sistah is trying to amuse you like only she can make sure you aren't drinking your evening protein shake...cause it's hard clean it out the projectile spittle now stuck between all those keys on the laptop. Great, now how do I explain what the milky white substance in between the "a" and "s" keys are..."p" isn't lookin' too pretty either. I think it frizzled and blipped for a moment too... I hope you are proud of yourself. :)


sistaaaahh! said...

heh heh heh.. i see my mission here is complete.

Tuna Girl said...

Ha! I've got that booty too. And black guys really do seem to love checking me out.

Dance, Baby! My daughetr was shaking her thing tonight and my husband just had to laugh and say, "She gets that from you."

Chef Dean said...

Well you *could* call her MOAM (as in Mother Of All Monkeys) or some such thing....

By the way, wher ein Florida are you?