Thursday, November 02, 2006

How Not To Make A Lifesaver

Things I learned on Halloween:

  • It's always best to make things yourself. Except if your homemade lightsaber would look more like a flashlight with bling than the $8 Target one. And at what point do we learn that it's "lightsaber" and not "lifesaver"?
  • Never assume anything about the character of your kids until they've been given the ultimate choice: money or candy. In a head scratching role reversal, the Younger Monkey opted gleefully for the spoonful of pennies and the Elder Monkey went for licorice treats.
  • Sometimes your Mr. Incredible man boobs can get in the way when trying stand on your head.
  • A Darth Vader wedgie utilizes the deepest unseen aspects of the dark side of the force. And never will be again unless you want some time out.
  • Okay, what do you say?
    Younger Monkey: "Thank you so much!"
    No, baby, what do you say first.
    (Maybe they are trained a little too well...)
  • So what did you like best this year?
    Elder Monkey: "I liked when daddy's silly friend came over and gave us glow sticks and then I ran him through with them because I am evil. That was fun."
    Younger Monkey: Eee ee aaa oooo...zzzzzzzzzz...
  • It's the only time of year that you wake up with an unknown bright blue sticky substance on your floor the next morning and you don't question it OR pass the blame on sugar-high monkeys.

    I suspect the giant pile of crap on my living room table. So now I get to become a magician and pull a vanishing act with it before Friday. I'm thinking of sending it all to a poor starving college student. Otherwise I'll just end up with a reenactment of Speed 3: Revenge of Willy Wonka.

    Larry said...

    He said thank you first? My god that's so cute :) It sounds like you might want to keep the older monkey away from sharp objects though :)

    Mikey said...

    I can't believe I got my ass handed to me by a 7-year-old Dark Jedi.

    Signalite said...

    Actually he's only 6. Don't you feel better now.

    Six Shooter said...

    Blue goo? What exactly is on your carpet? Smurf orgy?

    Tuna Girl said...

    "...daddy's silly friend..."

    LOL! I love it. My kids think mom has a lot of silly friends too.

    Andy said...

    I want some candy!