I haven't been to the gym in at least a couple months and I just this very moment, realized it. Somehow, I haven't gained or lost any weight which is why I had to stop and think about it.
My soon to be ex thought I should have a little backrub yesterday. Like I looked stressed or something. Upon this type of contact, the likes of which has been missing for quite some time, it seems all those meaty things holding my bones intact were at some point replaced in my sleep with thousands of rubber bands. Locked and loaded.
And my how they snapped. Is that what a tazer feels like? Anyone wanna come rollerblade up and down my back for a while?
So I have a theory. It must be that this consistent contracted state that all my muscles are currently in are burning calories and fat. Right? Stress is the new Weight Watchers.
Okay. I know it's really lame. But it's all I got right now.