Saturday, June 23, 2007


The Elder Monkey is reading so well now. It makes a papa proud.

What this means of course is that he can read anything when given enough time to sound it out. Also I've learned that most expletives are simple and not that difficult to figure out. Like F-U-C-K.

I'm not big on the whole swearing thing, but I don't merely out of lifelong repitition. Another one of those evil things that Good Christian Boys simply did not do and so I did not. In my own youth I only remember my Oma (German for grandma) letting her tongue loose, usually in reference to something Opa (German for grandpa) would do, in the form of a scowly "Jesus Christ!" (God-Fearing Methodist for "You idiotic twit!"). The one time I used the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks in front of all the neighbors, a story involving a magical, rampaging peacock, I was brought to the side by dad and felt guilty for weeks afterward.

I apparently have carried this over to the adult version of me:
Online Dating
This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words: bomb (1x)

So yesterday, I was "taking a break from work" and happened to see a blinking F-Bomb. And then I hear it dropped in a small but strong voice from behind me. At first I thought it only the child living in my head was finally rebelling but, no, the Elder Monkey was fine-tuning his stealth mode. And phonics. Thank you bloggers for keepin' it real.

Luckily, somewhere in all this parenting thing I learned that if you freak out, they will freak out. Or at least have whatever it was that was supposedly wrong etched in their brain. Not gonna lie, I had to stifle a laugh. Through a twitched face somewhere between panic and amusement, I simply told him that, like many other things it isn't something that he's old enough to use. This usually does the trick and he forgets about it and continues on his merry way. Although my real reasoning is that should he bring that word home to other choice relatives he would not soon forget the ensuing wrath.

I know they are just words, just words. Realistically, he'll hear it all soon enough at school I'm sure (if he hasn't already). But still I can't have a cursing monkey at home just yet. I am completely selfish and enjoying his linguistic innocence. I could just see it now, as he enters the second grade and his first assignment is to write about what he learned over the summer.

And then maybe I'll have a few choice words for myself.


David said...

Sounds like you handled that well.

H-E-double hockey sticks? I can't imagine anyone I know ever using that expresion. My family's not big on swearing, but the words do fly at times.

Kevin said...

Whew. I'm glad it wasn't my frickin' fault! :)

goblinbox said...

I know you got the Target job, but if you want any resume help just send it along to me and I'll edit the shit out of it for you AND redo the layout. If it needs it.