Monday, May 22, 2006

Don't Get Involved

There's a new chap at work. I don't know him at all. Today I found him off by the break table, blurry-eyed and shaky. I'm concerned but head to the bathroom for the moment. Try not to get involved.

He had surges of pain every now and then. He was clutching his chest. He would turn red. I ask him what's up. Be carfeul you don't get involved.

He's 21. He has no insurance. He won't call an ambulance. He won't see a doctor. He can't afford any of these things. He's more afraid of losing his job than dying. Don't get involved.

He gets this attack every day in varying degrees. His girlfriend broke his heart. She says he has a faulty valve. They are still together. Don't get involved.

I thought about lending him money. I thought about driving him to the emergency room. All I could do was sit there and listen to him dump everything about his emotional and physical trauma in the last few months. Don't get involved.

Logically, it can take a chunk of your life to help heal a potential faulty heart. And somewhere a thought in me screams "You can't do anything. Don't get involved."

Stupid thoughts. Go back to your frigid cave.

You're the reason I don't think I'll sleep tonight.


Dean said...

I'm glad you got involved - it show's you're a living, breathing, CARING human. We need more of those.

Michael said...

It's hard to simply no do anything. Hard to turn a deaf ear, keep a blank look in your eyes as you pass by, hard to block it all out.

Nice to know that some folks still decide to be nice guys with lendable shoulders. :)

Marty Gilbert said...

The three most important words riviling I Love You. are, let me help.

Yes many people who desire to help get hurt. Ie: Our little red marks. That dosent mean you shouldnt.
Nothing ventured nothing gained Mr. Columbus

At a time when you or he needs help you push away the ones who care for you most.

Its a defence mechanism to see if we are gueniune, and willing to stick threw the tough times.

The, for better or worse part, of the agreement.

Suprisingly the people who would do the right thing with money never have it. go figuer

You have something more valuable the knowledge and capasity to reach out to solve problems

Do what you do best get on the net and phone and you'll find someone there with the recorces and tools to help

Google search of "Your Heart" does provide with a varied result.

Help even if your wrong it does wonders for your soul.

The knowledge and lesson are worth the price of admission alone.

David said...

You're doing what you can. You can't save the world, my friend. You didn't create an evironment that landed this man with no insurance. By being human with him you are giving a great gift. He has to be the one to ask for help. When he does, then you will have an actual choice to make.

Patrick said...

I think kind words and a sympathetic ear are worth more than money. Speaking openly and honestly with someone goes a long way. Listening goes even further.

That said, it is important to realize that while you can show love and care, it's not your responsability to solve all of his problems.

Also, don't assume you know the entire situation. It's his choice to make. To seek help or continue to suffer. You can suggest you can offer, but you don't know his motivations for denying help, or continuing in pain. Heck, he may not even know why. But it is his choice to make.

Finally, just do your best. You have your own burdens. Don't blame yourself, or judge yourself. If you've done the best you can, right at that moment. Then that's all anyone can ask for.

Be a friend, be a confidant, be human. But don't blame yourself just because you *are* only human.

Hubbard said...


Talk to him, and encourage him to visit a doctor. At his age, it's probably something like heartburn (or, given that he seems like he's under stress, perhaps an ulcer). But it might be something more serious.

You cannot solve his problems; the best you can do is point him where he needs to go. Good luck!

goblinbox said...

What Patrick said. The guy could also have panic syndrome or something, not really verging on a heart attack.

If he was really dying, I think he'd go to the e-room.

He's probably starving for love and compassion more than anything else.

Solistella said...

"He's probably starving for love and compassion more than anything else."

Or maybe it's the other way around?

wink. wink.

Office romances never work. So hard to conceal your love on good days... so hard to keep from kicking his face in on bad days...


I'm just razzin' ya.