Saturday, November 18, 2006

Weak

I had a dream last night that was probably the most unnerving, explicit dream I've ever had. So much so that I can't repeat it's contents for fear of being accused of something crazy. It is poignant, but right now I just want it to go away.

Goawaygoawaygoawaygoaway. GO AWAY!

Unlike other nightmares, I didn't wake from this one paralyzed or paranoid. I wanted to throw up and cry. But I couldn't. I still feel like something might send me over the edge. In the end, it was the worst kind of loneliness, not that I was alone, but that there was nothing left for me with anyone.

The most I can say is that I don't really want any human touch for a few days.

Maybe I'll come back to it if it continues to haunt me but for now I'm trying to think happy thoughts to expel it.

Bah. It's not working.

I've never been so relieved to see daylight.

6 comments:

Larry said...

I'm here for you man. Don't let it get you down!

Michael said...

I hope it's gone soon! Maybe put on some music and see another, happier dream?

Marty said...

maybe you should'nt talk about it here. But discussing it is the only way to put it behind you.

if you keep it in that's where it will stay

Sleep with the TV on to something you like. Youll dream about what your ears are hearing

Anonymous said...

Sorry to read about the disturbing dream. I had a horrific dream once and was frightened to sleep for quite a while after that. It took a while but the fear subsided after a few days, I suppose it is to do with anxiety. Nowadays I try to put all the anxieties in a 'mental' cupboard to try to clear my mind. Just my thoughts. All the best Alden.

Johnny Lingo

Anonymous said...

hey mister man..i guess even superheroes have nightmares..or maybe they have the worst ones? those kinds of dreams can be quite searing on the brain. but it's only a dream...tomorrow it'll have faded away. it's been a bad day here too. little lotus got her tiny toes stepped on -- kitty screams can also be quite scarring.
love from all of us,
~sis!

dpaste said...

It may be sophmoric to say "it's only a dream" but hope your sleep gets easier. Do some positive affirmation before sleep, perhaps, if it persists.